In February, when I found out I was pregnant again, I danced around a whole rainbow of emotions, from excitement to joy to anxiety to nervous anticipation to sheer panic. How do you make it work with two? Two whole people requiring such complete devotion. I thought of the sheer sisyphean effort required to entertain a toddler, keeping her (mostly) damage-free, while also juggling all the little tasks required to keep the house (mostly) clean and to cook (mostly) nutritious meals. Where does a brand new baby fit into all of that? It turns out, our sweet snuggle-bear has settled comfortably right into the middle of our happy little chaos, reminding me to slow down, reminding me that some things can wait, that some things can fall by the wayside, and that some things are so precious and fleeting that they are worth stealing time from silly to-do lists that exist only in my head.
Back in those early months of pregnancy, I also thought of how love gets chopped up and parceled out in our lives. I thought of how my love for Juniper was as wide and deep as the ocean. Is it possible to add another little one without subtracting from something, somewhere? Sure enough our little Buddha baby arrived and, with his quiet, old-soul wisdom, has taught me that our hearts have no boundaries. They can expand and expand with every new breath. Now my love for Owen is as wide and deep as the sky.
Our little bear has taught me that we are capable of much more, even more, than I thought.